"making electricity..."

Here you are, you're sitting, wondering whether anything has changed. You don't feel different. Should you? It's not a huge deal at all. Not unless you make it one. You don't feel guilty, or anything like that. You feel, tired, well, that's nothing unusual. You're wondering if anyone will notice, if anyone cares. You think not. Nobody will care, and that's a good thing.



You hate how the position you're in right now prevents you from telling the world at the greatest decibel you can muster how happy you are. It's okay to keep secrets, but some are just too good to keep to yourself. You want everyone to know, but they can't - or else you'll be shot. And that is obviously not a good option. Some people won't accept your secret. Most people, in fact, wouldn't, but one person does. That one person makes having a secret completely worthwhile. They don't see you as a child, because you're not. They accept the fact that you're clever and mature, and able to cope with the secret you're harbouring.



You're thinking about the things you say sometimes about looking back on every day differently. It makes you think, I don't look on today with anything different. You didn't shake your head or feel like crying like that other time, it's totally different.

You sigh, just bcause you're tired and everything hurts. It has all just been a little too much and you feel slightly overwhelmed. But it's good that it has been a little too much because now you know your limits and boundaries. You realise that you need to try to relax next time. Don't stress. You keep playing it over and over in your head, remembering the things you liked, and how you felt uninhibted. Felt like nothing could stop you. You felt a kind of energy and serenity at the same time. How bizarre. Anyway, you can't go back now.

So you've taken a fall? Yeah, maybe, but you've hit the ground running.

"A leash is only a rope with a noose at both ends..."